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I do bad things... [May. 10th, 2005|04:04 pm]
[mood |melancholymelancholy]
[music |the clash- straight to hell]

hrm. why do i do these fuct up things that i do?? ready to leave work... NOW!!!
ate salad for lunch at my mom's and now i feel sick. only ate like a few pieces anyways. sicksicksick... when is my homie coming back?? never. i know. and my life is never going to be any more than it is now. i have lost all inspiration for anything else.
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omg [May. 5th, 2005|03:25 pm]
[mood |gratefulgrateful]
[music |hot blooded, yo check it and see...]

what the fuck is up with people?? fingers in chili, dead kids, and now this guy has chopped his stepchild's head off w/a pair of fucking hedge clippers?? what the fuck?!?!?!?
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why [Dec. 10th, 2004|12:07 pm]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |the screaming inside my head]

why the fuck is it soooo fucking easy for stupid ass fucking bitches to get boyfriends and i cannot even get a fucking date. i am in love w/someone who doesnt know and he will never know, b/c he is not interested in me that much. or so it seems. and my ex boyfriend is already moving in w/some dumb cunt that needs to fucking die. i will kill that stupid whore. if she ever even speaks to me, i swear, i will do the same thing that i did to her boy. fuck me. i cant take this shit. i hate being alone all the time. and the guy that i am totally inamoured of, doesnt even care. he doesnt understand the affect that he has on me. and that sucks.
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ok so im still alive [Oct. 1st, 2004|01:14 am]
[mood |drunkdrunk]
[music |the bangles~eternal flame so gay...]

yeh, im still alive.. to anyone who cares... and im not in jail. thank god~ met a really cool guy too... no details... if you know me, you know whatsup....
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get your mind off tha grind.... [Sep. 2nd, 2004|04:38 pm]
[mood |optimisticoptimistic]
[music |nofx-bob]

i am diluted.
pale, sallow.

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...by the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes... [Jul. 6th, 2004|05:14 pm]
[mood |pessimisticpessimistic]
[music |the clash- pitfall]

ok are you fucking serious? i mean really. is this a fucking joke? is that all life is, is a big joke? i dont know how much longer i can take this. ok- so i deleted an entry from my journal about my problems. and ohhhh "i got so many problems" damn man i really needs to get my ass outta here. im nutz everyday and i gotsta work late tonight. back to calorie counting again. need to lose about 10-15 pounds. seriously. and i am about to start... funfunfun. i dont care so much that i do. it makes me furious when i feel like i am lying in bed w/ a stranger. oooh. i think that is a really good title for a lifetime movie... hahaha. taking my ass running... getting hit on by strippers, having my significant other pinch another female's nipples, almost getting in a fistfight w/ a redneck piece of trash, being sick, having my blood pool up in my arms fuck naw. i got to change all this.
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nervous state [Jun. 25th, 2004|11:57 am]
[mood |nervousnervous]
[music |i dont know why... but journey? send her my love...]

yikes. i have been having real problems w/ my nerves lately. i have had like... two freaky panicky attacks in one week and god my stomach is nothing but a acid pit. fucking a. i am going to an art gallery show tonight and hopefully things wont be too awkward. i have this strange tendency to feel extremely agorophobic when i am not drunk in public. where has all my self confidence gone??? probably flushed down the toilet from all the guys in my life that have fucked me over. seriously. its sickening and i dont know why i am this self-loathing, misanthropic, lethargic beast. i am sitting at my desk practically ripping all my fucking hair out from stress. i hate this place, this state and this state of mind.
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thank fucking god it's friday!! [May. 21st, 2004|08:49 am]
[mood |gigglygiggly]
[music |the clash-clampdown]

tfgif... i cant till the weekend. gotta do a lot of things. hang out w/ my grrrlz, and the fam, of course. oooh yeh! i went and got my nails done as a last ditch attempt to stop biting. furk. also, i got a beta fish! kewl. i had bought one last week w/ xxxian, but i think that (COLLECTIVELY) me and my mom killed it. but mom bought me another one (i didnt mean to make her feel bad, but i called her crying when the other one died...) so, i have a new blue fishy!! yay!!! well, i did MY good deed for the day at work. i gotta keep the good work karma out there so i can keep the dough rollin' in. gotsta make that money man. i need to do something w/ myself. something's gotta give... im getting all cracked out on caffeine at the moment. yikes. scalding hot coffee is good. but i have to drink double what i would normally drink b/c the VAGINAS at work drink "lite" coffee. WTF? what is the point of decaf???? i do understand, b/c my dad drinks decaf but, AT NIGHT. if im gonna waste my time and drink coffee it needs to be FULL STRENGTH FOOL!!!! oh by the way i love tim armstrong and i will marry him one day. dude, im so fucking manic.
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no.... no more [May. 20th, 2004|08:12 am]
[mood |frustratedfrustrated]
[music |opiv- bad town]

i hate this place. i was listening to op iv this morning and of course, i started thinking of kendra. well, shit i mean, i cant help it. she is the first person that i ever rocked out w/ to opiv and now shes gone. that sucks. it makes me so sad... but i guess that is just a part of growing up. JEEZUS...and if that fucking phone rings one more time, i swear i am going to smash it. fucking rip it up, SMASHit up!! work sucks, but i like having a phat pay check. it is nice. and i dont have to worry about anyone else but myself. my tummy hurts. boo. my journal is never very interesting. i am not very interesting anymore. im an old woman... grandma. geez. oh well, i guess i need to go pretend to work now. fucking a.
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a note from the desk of jezus h. christ [May. 18th, 2004|07:46 pm]
[mood |workingworking]
[music |the clash-the guns of brixton]

furkin jeezus... i think that lj is so pretentious. i mean yeh i have an acct. but damn. im not always like blahblahblah my shits so cool b/c i listen to only the coolest mix tapes with the most underground music. its alot like meeting a celebrity or someone who thinks they are famous. lemme tell ya. its not that great. i met the shittiest band in the world, the donnas, and they were sooo pretentious.. its not like any female with any musical talent could blow there shit outta the fucking water. jezus... i am the most misanthropic bitch... hahaha but they suck. i mean come on how much talent does it take to write take it off?? not so much. blarb. i hate you bitches...im over the point in my life that i am trying to impress people. fuck em. it makes no difference who you are. i know who i am !!! ha!
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